


Addicted (to your love)

by mcustancm



Series: Sam's angst pile [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: #GoldLovesHarleyButIMadeHerSuffer, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs, Heavy Angst, M/M, heavy mentions of drug abuse, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 04:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20790533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcustancm/pseuds/mcustancm
Summary: Drug addict.What a term. Addicted to a bad substance. Can you be addicted to a good substance? Is Harley a good substance?Peter Parker was addicted... to many things. Drugs and Alcohol to name a couple. But, when he lands himself in the hospital (which he always does), Harley is always there for him. Which is good, until it's not.





	Addicted (to your love)

**Author's Note:**

> wow, i can't believe i wrote this. 
> 
> Shout out to @marvelbygold on insta for proofreading this and helping me with the title.
> 
> My instagram: @holland.simpkins  
HMU tell me if you cried lol.

**He loved him till the second he died. **

**And there was no way in hell he didn’t love him back.**

  
  


_ Drug addict,  _ what a term. Addicted to a bad substance. Can you be addicted to a good substance? Is Harley a good substance? Is drugs the end all be all? Can he die? Would he die? Could he die? Would his questions ever get answered? Probably not. But who knows for sure. 

Peter overdosed… a lot. Harley was always there when he woke up in the hospital. Harley was always there…. Always. And if he wasn't that meant he was in the lobby. But Harley was always there. Harley was Peter's rock.

"You need to stop doing this, Pete. You're destroying me…" Harley says when Peter wakes up. “This is the 2 overdose in 3 weeks.” He says shaking his head. 

"I'm sorry… Harls." He says trying to hold Harley's hand. Harley kisses his forehead lightly. 

Harley motions for Peter to move to the side so he can lie down with him. They stare into each other's eyes for a while until Harley decides to say something. 

"Peter…" he says, looking directly at him. Blue meeting brown. "I love you…" he sobs. 

"I'm sorry Harley…” Peter cries. 

“Tony isn’t coming back… but doing this isn’t going to help you… I need you alive, with me… Peter please.” Harley begs, but his words stung. Tony was gone, and Peter blamed it on himself. 

_ Drugs and alcohol _

Those were his escapes from reality. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

May kicked Peter out of her apartment late December. He was on the streets, cold, wounded, addicted, and nowhere to go. May was tired of his bullshit. Drugs and whatever else he used, she was done with it. 

He and Harley had a fight the last time he overdosed. Which was a week ago. It was bad, Harley broke up with him and left the hospital. He didn’t come back. The minute Peter got released he was back on the streets begging for more. Pills, Needles, anything at this point to erase the thought of Harley. 

Why isn’t he dead? Ask  _ God _ , because only he knows. If that's even a thing. Is God real? Cause if he was, Peter’s parents would be alive, so would Ben, and so would Tony. But they aren’t, and that's the exact reason Peter hasn’t been to synagogue with May since he was 14 years old, since Ben died. And why he’s been doing drugs and drinking alcohol obsessively since Tony’s death. 

But back to the now, Peter was alone, on the streets. With a singular blanket and twenty dollars. Enough for a good meal, or for more pills. 

_ Pills _

It will always be drugs. 

Or  _ Harley _ .

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Harley found him. 

Hospital, room 568.

Same old hospital gown. 

  
  


Peter wouldn’t wake up this time. But Harley waited, he waited for days this time. 

“Pete… c’mon.” He begged, he held Peter’s limp hand for three days and didn’t let go. 

May visited once. 

Pepper stayed with him for a good 6 hours one time. That's the only time Harley slept those three days. But, he didn’t let go of Peter’s hand… he slept in the chair next to Peter’s bed.

“Peter… I'm sorry, Please come back to me…” He begged he pleaded. He did anything 

He eventually came back. 

Harley almost had them pull the plug on Peter. He was losing hope. But Peter came back. Like he always did. 

“H-harls… w-what?”

“Peter… oh my god, Peter…” Harley said to him, kissing his forehead, gently. 

“Harley…” Peter breathes out. Harley kisses him softly. Harley starts to tear up while Peter’s soul is filled with regret and guilt.

“We’re gonna get you help, I promise.”

“I thought you didn’t love me anymore…” 

“I’m going to love you till the day I die,” Harley admits. 

“You shouldn’t,” Peter says, leaning for the bottle of water to have a drink. Harley hands him the bottle while letting a tear drop from his eyes. Peter takes a sip then continues talking. “I’m a mess, Harley… you shouldn’t love me… May doesn’t…”

Harley starts to cry and leans his head on the bed. Peter looks at him, somberly. 

“Harley… I'm so so so sorry. “ Peter chokes out. 

Soon, Harley is on the bed, his arms around Peter. They are crying, sobbing, letting out their anger. Anger at each other, anger at the people in their lives. Anger at themselves.

“I’m never going to stop loving you,” Peter says. “People say I have a problem. But I love it. I really love it. The rush, the feeling in my veins. As they say, I’m addicted. And I  _ love _ it.”

“We’re going to get you help,”

“No… I don’t want it, let me die.”

Harley shakes his head and kisses Peter softly, “No.”

“Please…” 

  
  


____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Spring. What does that make you think of? Love? Happiness? Flowers?

For years, the only thing that came to Peter at the beginning of each season, month, day, hour, was drugs. And this was no different. He denied help, over and over and over again. Harley kept on trying. But Peter would never give in, never let Harley get him the help he needed. He loved the feeling in his veins of the substances ruining his brain. Was he addicted? Definitely. Did he want help? No. 

He was addicted to something else. Harley. Harley was his addiction. 

Harley was smart about it too, he could take Peter away from drugs and alcohol for weeks, as long as Harley was around, Peter could forget about drugs, alcohol, anything of the sorts. 

Then Harley would have to go home, back to Tennessee. His mother, like Peter, was suffering from addiction. Alcohol consumed her. Like drugs did to Peter. 

He needed to check on her, and he knew that when he left Peter would relapse. He’d go back to New York early, every time. The hospital never failed to call him every time he was in Tennessee. This time was no different. 

  
  


“Is he awake.”

“No, Sir.” 

“What room?”

“329”

Harley knew what room this was, where it was, how to get there. It helps that Peter has been in this same room, 3 times now. 

“Hey doll, I’m here…” he said like he did every time. He held Peter’s hand like he did every time. “I love you…” He’d repeat. This was a routine, and a bad one at that, but Harley knew what to do. Wait… because that's all he could do. 

  
  


_________________________________________________________________________________

  
  


Harley got sick… Peter didn’t know what, he didn’t care. But he knew the love of his life, and one of his addictions was sick. 

It was strange seeing Harley in the place Peter always was. 

It’s like they switched places… on each other. Harley in the hospital bed. Peter holding his hand. 

“Harls… you need to stay with me… I need you.” 

“Pete…” He breathed out. 

“Shh, save your breath.” He begged. “I love you… stay alive for me… I need you.” 

Silence

“Harls…” 

“Please…”

Doctors run into the room, Peter is rushed out. It’s all a haze… Everything flashes past Peter and he can’t comprehend anything. 

Seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours. But nonetheless…

“He’s gone… I’m sorry, Mr. Parker.”

“No… no. You’re lying…” 

“I’m sorry…”

And he ran. He ran as far as his legs would carry him. 

The streets always had what he needed. 

Pills, needles, joints. He got whatever he could get his hands on. 

“I’ll see you soon, my love.” He promised to the stars. 

Peter took everything at once… and it didn’t take long for his body to give out. 

You know… the streets of New York isn’t the worst place to die. 

I guess Peter was addicted to Harley more than he was addicted to drugs. Because in the end, he ended his life to be with him. He didn’t continue living for the rush of the chemicals in his veins. He died, for an addiction. An addiction to Harley. 

Was being addicted to drugs and alcohol a bad thing? Yes, this is something we know, something we were taught in seventh grade.

Was being addicted to Harley a bad thing? No… at least it wasn’t supposed to be. 

Did being addicted to Harley end his life… or was it the drugs? Now that's something we know for sure. _ It was Harley.  _ The force of Harley was stronger than any other addiction Peter could ever encounter.

Peter was addicted.

And now Peter is dead.

And so is Harley.

So, can addictions kill you? 

I think you can answer that for yourself.


End file.
